Letting Go of Negative Self Talk

I'm reading a book that has really helped me a lot with getting rid of negative self talk and replacing it with positive soul talk. The book is "Me, Myself, and Lies" by Jennifer Rothchild.  This is a Bible study and it has been extremely helpful to me.

For years all I've done is think I'm stupid or incompetent. I never think I'm worthy of love. This is so far from the truth. Because of my negative self talk, I believe that I have filled my life with people that reinforce my inner beliefs about myself. I have surrounded myself with people who are unable to commit in relationships, unfaithful, self-absorbed, and generally unappreciative of the gifts that I've brought into the relationship.

This is all changing so suddenly. I have no desire to talk to or visit with the "UNs" in my life any more. I don't desire the presence of people that want, want, want from me and never give. I am worthy of givers. I am worthy of being part of a relationship where I am supported emotionally and physically if need be.

One of the biggest revelations from doing this Bible study is that I realized that I make most all of my decisions based on loneliness. Most people would not see me as lonely. I have friends and family around often. However, I know I'm lonely and always have been. I come from a huge family and have children in the area, yet I always feel alone. Recently I've heard a song on Christian radio, and can't remember the singer. There is a line where he says something like, "we call this our home, but I still feel alone." It keeps hitting me over and over. How many other women feel alone in their own homes with family around? I suspect it is a good number if someone thought to write it in a song.

I accepted a job which will take me several hours away from my home. I'm leaving my kids and grandkids. I will be physically all alone in a city for the first time in my life. I'm filled with fear and anticipation. I have searched so long for a job in my field and somehow this job opened up and isn't in my field at all. I was never quite sure why I even applied for the position other than I felt led to the site online one night. Somehow this all feels like God's plan to me. I'm realizing that God has chosen this particular time to reveal my most basic issue/fear only days after I accepted a job where the responsibility alone strikes me with fear. I feel like He is definitely trying to tell me that we will conquer this thing together and that I am not ever alone.

So, I'm really looking forward to all that God has planned for this new chapter in my life where I am going to be physically alone for the first time.